Well, i have one week of semester break starting, tomorrow! TEEHEE! Mid-term was, so so. I'm screwed for Accounts and Critical Thinking. Aiks O.O

After Principle of Management paper, the girls and i headed out to OU for a movie and karaoke session. We watched Kidnapper, which was ugh. Then we sang K. We went high on Lady Gaga's songs. Why? :') 

I don't wanna feel like as though i'm just an object to you. If it weren't for them, we wouldn't have to be in this situation, sneaking around, feeling scared all the time. I don't wanna be yelled at anymore, it's tiring and it's sickening. I know, i'm always complaining about the same thing and you might be fed up listening to it all the time but i just can't help myself. I feel scared for us all the time. You know i wanna be with you. But if faith wouldn't allow us, what can we do? I'm really tired of us fighting, and i know you are too. 

I am happy with you, i really am.

My birthday's coming up. I just wish someone would be nice enough to give me a surprise. I don't want it to be another day that comes and goes.  

I have mid-term this Friday and Accounts quiz tomorrow. Oh gosh, i'm so nervous :S i feel like i can't sleep 'cause i need to study.

Today, i saw you. I was mad, and happy. I was mad because you always call at the wrong time. I was happy because i got to see you. Either way, i was glad you came. Though we didn't talk much, but you know what i know :)

Wish me luck, people!

I have been so busy with assignments and stuff, but i still have time to log into facebook :P

Anywho, this week has been a really rough week for me, in terms of studies and social. I feel like, it's high school all over again. It's tiring. It's exhausting. Everything's coming to a hault whenever things seem to be getting better.

I don't see why the both of us are still so stubborn. Yes, no doubt we're no longer with one another, at least we can still talk as friends. But then, i don't know why it's so difficult for us. Sometimes i just wish for once, people can understand how i really feel. I can't forget and no, i don't forgive easily. But i do wanna forget and i do wanna forgive them easily, but somehow i just can't! But we can't only think of ourselves. We have to think of everyone else around us. You know, how we got into this situation. We wouldn't be in this situation because of one simple misunderstanding. "It all began with a bunch of house keys", i always say. You know what i mean. Don't just think feelings can pull us through all this shit and crap we have been going through. We got others to think of.

Honestly, i've been feeling effin' down lately. I don't know why, i just tend to feel like everything's gonna be over soon. I'm tired of pretending i couldn't care less when in the actual fact i do. It's tiring. Why must college be like high school all over again? I thought i told myself that i'm gonna enjoy myself. Why don't i feel that way. At first, i thought i was gonna make new friends, which i did. But in the end, i feel like i'm only there to feel the gap in the group. Everyone told me college is fun, college is this, college is that, THEN WHY THE **** DON'T I FEEL THAT WAY?!

I don't want my depression to come back, i don't want my high school drama back. It's sickening. It's repeating. I don't wanna think stupid things again.

Don't make me feel insulted. It's what i hate the most.
You said you feel left out, *smirk* i can show you the real feeling of being left out.

It's already the 3rd of May, which leaves *counting with my fingers* 22 days left until i'm 18! WHEE! :D i shall act childish as long as i shall live. *smirk*

Anyways, college has been erm, tiring. You know what i just realized? Every Monday, before and after Accounts, i would be emo. Why? O.O i don't know. I just didn't feel like talking to anyone. College has been honestly, dragging my days. I honestly, had made new friends but at the same time, i wonder to myself sometimes, how come i can't talk properly with them? I mean, somehow, sometimes, i can feel like as though they don't enjoy having me around. More like, they don't enjoy talking to me. Am i thinking too much? I think i am. But, it's just how i feel.

I do enjoy Fridays though. No, not because i got Malaysian Studies on that day. I got SET meeting in the morning. Probably because, i can really speak out and for once, people actually listen to me.

I'm currently having tons of Assignments, homeworks and worst, quizzes O.O besides that, mid-term's coming up. Wow-whee. Please, i don't wanna repeat the subjects in the next semester :'(

Oh, oh and guest what! I got accepted to go to Form 6 :P haha! Wow. Science stream too. Nawh, checking it just for the fun of it. Though, i don't mind going actually :O

Anywho, finishing IT assignment, people. Toodles <3





Michelle Chan Lai Yin! I have yet to have a photo with you. GRRRR!

Oh my, what a dusty journal :) anywho, been busy with college so, do forgive me loves *thinking whether anyone really reads ze journal*

Anyways, college has *jeng jeng jeng* begun! Last 3 weeks :) it wasn't all bad. It's kinda like, high school in a way. Only without uniforms. Yep, did make new friends and met a lot of old ones, but then again, i don't know. It's still like high school. Noooooo :S i don't want my fitting in problem to haunt me again.

So, i'm currently taking 4 subjects :
- Introduction to IT
- Principle of Management
- Intoduction to Accounting
- Malaysian studies (yes, i know)

I actually enjoy Accounts class, and i really enjoy IT. I'm like new to all these so, lots to learn.
Ever since college started, i've been feeling seriously emo, and tired. Honestly, i don't know why. I can actually sleep during classes or between breaks but then again, nah. I need pictures in this journal. But i got no interesting pictures! But then again, i uploaded my pictures in facebook already so, i won't be bothered to download pictures here.

I hate my life now. Why isn't things going smoothly today?!

I didn't get good grades for the SPM results, though i am satisfied with it. But,

Congratulations to those who scored straight A's!

When you got back, i was happy. But then, something about you changed. I just don't know what. Is it the way you talk? Is it the way you act? I really don't know. I'm so scared you'll just slip away without yourself knowing. Maybe i'm just thinking too much. But seriously, i really feel like something's different. I don't know whether is it different in you or us. Or is it just me? Am i the cause of it? But i don't feel important, that's the thing! I feel like i'm being replaced. I don't know. But no matter what, i'm still standing on my ground. Though we've been through so much, and being in unexpected positions, i'm still standing on my ground.

Will you do so too?

I waited, 3 goddamn months for you to come home and all i got was a shitty excuse. What do you mean you gotta get used to your room? So you're saying now you're castrophobic because your room's small? You know what? I feel like you don't really care. Stop giving me such shitty excuses. I've enough of shitty excuses in my life already.

I can never get tired of Grace Kelly by Mika. But she is still a royalty, so kind of like an insult though she's dead. Anywho, i can already collect my P license! YAY!

Tonight will be my first Grade 8 piano lesson after stopping for like, a year. And the teacher's scary O.O
Oh God, please be by my side tonight. O:) The teacher's scary and i'm afraid she'll be all chocked up on me. :(

My hair is ruined today! Why oh whyyy?! D': Joel called this morning, saying they went into the jungle yesterday which was so awesome for me because it's been long since i went camping. :D I wanna go horse riding. I wanna go camping. I don't wanna know my SPM results. Speaking of SPM results, will it be on the 11th or 16th?? Because, if it comes out on the 11th, how are the students in NS gonna get their results? Unless, their results will be mailed to them. OH!! I'm so scared! O.O I seriously have no confidence in scoring straight A's. LOL, If i score straight A's, the world will come to an end. Seriously. I'm just gonna pray that i can score 6A's and above. 5A's is bad enough. I remember PMR... well, i don't wanna remember PMR. I screwed up. That's all i could say. I will never forget that day, no matter how i wanna get rid of it. 6A's, Buddha. 6A's.

Oh God, i'm so scared!

Yesterday, i went to OU with Jayanthi to catch up Valentine's Day and it was, shall i say awesomeeee! :D In the cinema, everyone went *gasp* when this guy whom i've forgotten the name turned out to be gay. Haha, it was funny. Oh *drools* Taylor Lautner :P

Then today, went to The Curve with Chee Meng and Jun Wai! I've finally got to catch up with Jun Wai after 5 years not seeing him :) And, it was awesome seeing Afiqah again after like, 10 months not seeing each other. Haha, i will never forget the look on her face when she saw me walking into the shop.

Anywho, i'm currently drooling over Taylor Lautner and in the process of reading Breaking Dawn. Yes, i've finally gotten the book.

My MUST WATCH Movie List this year :)

1. Percy Jackson & The Olympians : The Lightning Thief
2. It's Complicated
3. Up In The Air
4. Date Night
5. Alice In Wonderland

Alrighty! Toodles, dear ones.